My Friend's Hands

Yesterday a deaf friend came over to check out my son's waterbed that we're planning to drain and dispose of since he's moving into a college dorm soon (whoopee!). I haven't been practicing ASL enough, and I'd forgotten how wonderful it is to have someone sign a word when you need a repeat, instead of asking them to say it over and over and over again. Even though we talked orally, we automatically signed most the time too. That was so nice for me because I'm not fluent enough to depend totally on ASL, though I could communicate with her in ASL for a couple hours without speaking last spring. I'm just SO out of practice now!! I don't hear well enough to depend on my ears anymore either. I CAN of course, because I have to, since my family and most of my friends are hearing, but lipreading (speechreading) is so much work. What a relief to be around someone who signs! I guess that's the problem with being late-deafened. If I had been born deaf I would be more proficient in ASL, and have more deaf friends, but I wasn't. After awhile I even took out my hearing aids, which I hate wearing.

It was also really nice connecting with her because I haven't seen her for a long time, and I've missed her. I haven't seen any other deaf people in awhile either. I showed her the results of my new audiogram. She's one of the few people I know who can look at it and actually understand what it means. Our audiograms are almost alike, but now that mine has taken another dive she says she thinks my hearing is worse. She was born with her hearing loss, so her hearing is more stable than mine.

We discussed cochlear implants, a local deaf club's new webpage, and another local club's picnic. We thought it would be nice to have a get-together with all the deaf/late-deaf people we know in the area, and talked about deaf people we had not seen in awhile who we would like to see again. . .and so on. Then, she looked at my video phone because it wasn't working and promised to send an email with the name of someone who could troubleshoot it. I had recently been to the DVR and she had just made an appointment to go there. We discussed what they offer to people with hearing loss, the ADA laws, how to get accommodations at work, etc. These are the kinds of things I don't/can't talk to hearing people about, and I crave this. I think I've mentioned before the support I get from my deaf friends is my lifeline, not that I love hearing friends less. A couple have even offered to take ASL with me, which made me tear up a little.

I've made a mental note to prioritize registering for ASL classes at the nearby community college this fall, so I can stay more involved. (I have taken three basic ASL immersion classes from the Hearing, Speech and Deafness Cntr.) Between that and the belly dancing I'll be gone three nights a week. But I feel it's imperative to stay in touch with deaf friends, which I can't do if I can't communicate with them.