Poetry-You Have To Be Deaf To Understand

Today's post is about deaf art and audism. The picture above, painted by Susan Dupor, is titled "Family Dog". The girl on the ground represents how she feels like the family dog when her family fails to consider her communication needs. I love the way her face looks so dog like. A large social gathering is a nightmare for most deaf people, with several conversations going on at once and people excitedly talking above one another, no one using ASL. The blur of faces depicts the difficulties in following along. Even if she could lip read, watching so many faces at once would be impossible. Everyone seems to be ignoring her. Communicating with her is too much work, so they don't bother. I have felt just like this many times. I'm there, but not interacting with anyone. Jokes are told, stories shared, and I'm not hearing any of it. I've been trying to convince my family to take ASL, but its' hard to get them to face the facts about my hearing loss, since they knew me way back when, and my speech is still good. Also I happen to be pretty good at lipreading one on one.

"But you do so well with your lip-reading," they say.

"Do I?" (or is it that you don't want to be bothered with ASL?) My last audiogram indicated I was hearing less than 12% of what was being said with amplification on random word testing. When I go for the cochlear implant evaluation, we'll see how well I do with contextual clues.

Below is a poem called "You Have To Be Deaf To Understand" I only had mild hearing loss as a child. Some of this rings true for me now. I love this poem.


What is it like to "hear" a hand?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be a small child,
In a school, in a room void of sound-
With a teacher who talks and talks and talks;
And then when she does come around to you,
She expects you to know what she's said?
You have to be deaf to understand.

Or the teacher thinks that to make you smart,
You must first learn how to talk with your voice;
So mumbo-jumbo with hands on your face
For hours and hours without patience or end,
Until out comes a faint resembling sound?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be curious,
To thirst for knowledge you can call your own,
With an inner desire that's set on fire-
And you ask a brother, sister, or friend
Who looks in answer and says, "Never mind"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What it is like in a corner to stand,
Though there's nothing you've done really wrong,
Other than try to make use of your hands
To a silent peer to communicate
A thought that comes to your mind all at once?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be shouted at
When one thinks that will help you to hear;
Or misunderstand the words of a friend
Who is trying to make a joke clear,
And you don't get the point because he's failed?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be laughed in the face
When you try to repeat what is said;
Just to make sure that you've understood,
And you find that the words were misread-
And you want to cry out, "Please help me, friend"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to have to depend
Upon one who can hear to phone a friend;
Or place a call to a business firm
And be forced to share what's personal, and,
Then find that your message wasn't made clear?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be deaf and alone
In the company of those who can hear-
And you only guess as you go along,
For no one's there with a helping hand,
As you try to keep up with words and song?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like on the road of life
To meet with a stranger who opens his mouth-
And speaks out a line at a rapid pace;
And you can't understand the look in his face
Because it is new and you're lost in the race?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to comprehend
Some nimble fingers that paint the scene,
And make you smile and feel serene
With the "spoken word" of the moving hand
that makes you part of the world at large?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to "hear" a hand?
Yes, you have to be deaf to understand.

"You Have to be Deaf to Understand" was written by Willard J. Madsen, associate professor at Gallaudet College and a graduate of the Kansas School for the Deaf.