Comparing On-Line ASL Resources

I don't believe American Sign Language (or any language) is best learned on-line, but it's a fact of life that many of us who are late-deafened are extremely busy. Sometimes we cannot find any ASL classes nearby, and often when we do, class schedules conflict with work hours.

In the past few years I have discovered a few on-line ASL resources for those who don't have the time or money to take a college class. Not only are most of these on-line resources convenient, they are also relatively cheap. One drawback of ASL books and dictionaries is how to convey three dimensional movements in two-dimensional drawings or photographs. Interpreting the proper movement can be challenging. On-line videos offer visibility of the entire hand-arm action and facial expressions used during while signing.

My favorite is http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/fingerspell.cgi This site shows the complete movement of each sign in its video dictionary including facial expressions. Within the dictionary is a section on conversational phrases, which I think is a really COOL feature! It also offers fingerspelling quizzes where one can choose speeds of slow, medium or fast. Additionally there are word quizzes, and a special section devoted to religious words.

The two main drawbacks of this site are that there's no curriculum to follow. It's a great study tool to compliment course work, but doesn't offer a curriculum of its own. Secondly a few of the signs are different from signs in the course books I've been using. They may also be different from regional signs one uses in their particular area. Thirdly the fingerspelling quiz isn't the best one, because it only has three speeds and you can't adjust the length of your words. However, I personally like this site the best.

Dr. Bill Vicars fingerspelling quiz is way better than ASL Pros. http://asl.ms/ It has slow, medium, fast and "deaf" speed. haha! which is like "light speed." Because you can choose the word size, there's more flexibility in adjusting for improvement. This fingerspelling quiz is connected to ASL University at http://www.lifeprint.com/ Lifeprint offers three courses in ASL, including grammar and cultural information about the Deaf. The course is completely free, unless you want to take it for college credit-- which you CAN do from home! The site is full of info, but one drawback is it's dictionary isn't in video. Dr. Vicars demonstrates the signs in a series of pictures that can be hard to follow. Also he doesn't show much facial expression. Still, if used in conjunction with aslpro.com, you could learn quite a bit of ASL on your own.

Here's another video dictionary-- the ASL Browser http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm from Michigan State University. I don't like this dictionary as well as the first one I mentioned in ASL Pro because her facial expressions aren't right, but if you just want to get an idea how to move your hands, it's OK. This site also offers a CD-Rom on ASL instruction for $19.95, or you can go to two other sites. One offers on-line courses with four month access per course, for $49.95 each. The other link leads you to an ASL book for less than $20.00.

This site http://www.lessontutor.com/ASLgenhome.html offers both ASL and Signed English (SE) for free. The pictures are primitive and hard to follow, but if used with one of the video dictionaries above, it might be OK. One problem I can see is a new learner could become confused between ASL and SE, which are grammatically different.

I love the way this site http://www.handspeak.com/byte/index.php presents cultural information. It also offers a free curriculum. However, there's no fingerspelling quiz feature, and its video dictionary is slow, spasmodic and of poor quality compared to the others. Still, if you're looking for cultural info, I think this site offers way more insight than any of the above.

Again, I don't think this is the best way to learn ASL. Just as you wouldn't become fluent in French listening to French tapes, you can't become fluent in ASL by watching videos. Like any language it takes tons of practice and use with native speakers. But if you want to start with a few basics, then these sites would be a great place to begin.

My ASL Assignment

'Now run along, and don't get into mischief. I am going out.'

Last night we were given an assignment to translate a children's story book. We were allowed to pick one book out of a pile my teacher had dumped on a table. I have always loved Beatrix Potter, so I chose The Tale of Peter Rabbit. I was thinking there would be lots of fun action and so on.



Now I'm in the process of translating English to ASL. I'm finding this a most difficult task mainly because there are times words will not adequately convey an action. For example, the act of placing a "sieve" over Peter becomes an exercise in establishing a classifier to indicate the sieve, then placing the imaginary sieve over a rabbit. There are simply no words for this, and I'm at a loss. So-- I've written on paper how I would handle it in ASL, and I hope that satisfies her.



She's Deaf, by the way.



My husband said the other day that he read somewhere (yeah I know, don't quote me on this) that the English language has about four times the number of words, compared to all other languages. He was surprised by this fact, and so was I. The British also have a tendency to be wordy compared to Americans. I've heard British complain about the inadequacies of American vocabularies, as some studies have indicated that even British children have a much expanded vocabulary over American adults. As a culture Brits seem to LOVE words and tend to use new adjectives and word plays much more in their everyday communications-- which we Americans see as the endearing British wit.



I had never thought about it before, but I'm now finding this story written by Beatrix Potter , a Brit, overly wordy for children, maybe because I have to translate it into ASL. This is HARD.



Sentences such as, "Peter was most desperately frightened," have turned into "Peter scared!" But again that isn't sufficient, since there are ways of signing levels of fear that don't translate. We learned the word for "very" last night, since it was in the book, but my ASL teacher said to disregard it. Not needed. Deaf people don't use it since they show the concept of "very" in their Deaf expressions. Interesting. I had been wondering about this for awhile.



The second half of the assignment will be to tell our stories to the class. We all suck at fingerspelling, so we are to present the story as if we're telling it to children who don't yet read. No fingerspelling. All the characters are to be given name signs and words we haven't learned can't be used. This gives you an example of where we're at in ASL. We're like children. I openly admit all your fingers look like a blur to me when you fingerspell.



Personally I think this is a wonderfully challenging assignment. Not only am I learning ASL syntax, but it also sends home the point of how difficult translation can be between English and ASL. I have a new found appreciation for those of you who vlog and transcribe or caption. It isn't easy!

Global Language Monitor http://www.languagemonitor.com/wst_page7.html

Slate http://www.slate.com/id/2139611/

Ask Oxford http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutenglish/mostwords?view=uk

I Learned Something New

As many of you know I've been taking ASL for awhile. Tonight we were learning deaf conjunctions-- the OTHER meaning for signs signs we've already practiced. My ASL teacher gave us many examples of the proper expressions-- such as, "I walk, WRONG rain!" Most of you would get this immediately but bear with me as I explain to people who only speak English. What that sentence meant was "As I was walking, it suddenly started to rain. OK? Okay.

So one of her examples was she met a Deaf Japanese man in Washington D.C about ten years ago.


While they were talking she made the OK sign. WRONG! He took off. Why? Bad meaning - Japan (JSL). Evidently that means F--K. True story!

I had a fantastic time at the ASL interpreted play the other night. It was the first play I've been to in years and I understood a lot of the interpreting, which was especially exciting for me because I wouldn't have understood much of the play at all without it. I'm definitely NOT 100% at this point. Without any hints I'm only getting the basic gist of a discussion. But with being able to lip read along with the play when I didn't understand the signing and being able to look at the interpreters when I didn't get what was said, WOW! This is opening a new world for me.

Yes Mike, I get it.

Yes Mike, I understand.

I have this deaf friend I practice ASL with. Her name is Kate. We meet every so often for lunch at this shopping center where there are a bunch of different restaurants. Normally we go to an Indian place and sometimes we go to an Italian place, or a Thai place. Recently we found a deli we like.

Usually, Kate does all the "oral" talking to the wait staff to give me an opportunity to sign as much as possible. Additionally she does hear a little better than me-- or maybe she lipreads better-- I'm not really sure. Our audiograms are almost the same, but she was born deaf and I have had a progressive hearing loss for over thirty years. She grew up having oralism forced on her, then picked up sign later after she moved away from her parents. We're both part of the Hearing world now. We have Hearing families. We talk. But we're deaf too. Neither of us wear our hearing aids at home, and we enjoy not wearing them when we're out.

I was told by my audiologist when first diagnosed that if I had been born with deafness I would not have learned to talk well. Hearing aids just weren't that good in the late 50s/early 60s, so most people my age who were born deaf have some deaf speech. It has nothing to do with intelligence-- as YOU know. Newer hearing aids are much better and younger people have had better correction. Doctors who know anything about hearing loss can look at my audiogram and know I wasn't born this way because of the way I talk.

Anyone who knows anything about language acquisition knows it's the same when learning foreign languages. For example, I have a friend Iwona (pronounced Ivona) who grew up in Poland. When she moved to the US, she spoke five languages fluently, but not English. She said she will always have a foreign accent when speaking English because she learned English too late in life. (I've talked to others-- a friend from Yugoslavia and a few others who have said the same thing) In order to speak a language with no foreign accent, you have to learn it before age fourteen-- give or take a few years. There's a reason for this I won't go into here, but the same concept applies to deafness and speech. If you hear well when you're young, most likely you'll continue to speak like a hearing person all your life even after going deaf.

So, back to Kate and I on our outings-- it often goes like this. . . We'll walk into a place for lunch. Maybe there's a crowd of people. We will start signing and decide if we want to eat there. "Do you want to eat here? Looks crowded. Ask how long the wait is. . .." Finally, she'll go up to the desk and ask orally how long of a wait. At the same time she tells them we're deaf and we won't hear our names called. Then she comes back to explain in sign it's a fifteen minute wait or whatever, and we're third on the list. . .

The wait staff stare at "the two deaf signing women" and assume from this exchange that I'm non-oral because Kate has done all the talking. They only see me signing, never talking. Sometimes they seat us right away despite telling us there would be a wait. I'm not sure if it's because they feel sorry for us, or if they're feeling extra charitable or if they simply don't want signing women in the lobby.

Sometimes if we're standing outside on a street corner signing, cars will slam on their brakes so we can cross the street. This NEVER happens to two hearing women standing on a street corner chatting. I think maybe the flying hands gets driver's attentions. But also I believe when people see ASL and flying hands, maybe they fear we'll suddenly jump out in front of their cars.

The time that really made me burst out laughing was in the Thai restaurant. As usual, Kate did all the talking. She even ordered orally for both of us. When the waitress asked if I wanted my tofu fried or baked, Kate asked me in sign, I answered back in sign, then Kate relayed this information to the Thai waitress. I simply needed the practice, which is why I didn't speak. Also I couldn't understand the waitress's accent and Kate does hear a little better than me, or maybe she lipreads better. I'm still not sure. Kate also asked in sign what I wanted to drink in front of the waitress, and then told her I wanted water.

We spent the rest of our lunch happily signing away with the waitress coming by to ask if everything was OK a couple times and Kate assuring her we were fine. When it came time to leave, I mentioned to Kate in sign that I needed a box because I couldn't finish. Kate couldn't finish either. She eats like a bird. She probably had twice as much food left on her plate as me. In two HUGE heaping mounds. She waved the waitress over and asked orally for boxes for our food.

The waitress was so kind. She came back promptly with two boxes in hand and smiled benevolently at me first. Then she began dishing up my leftovers into the box. I felt just a little foolish. I am capable of placing my own leftovers into a box. But when I made a move to take the spoon, she pushed my hand away and smiled again. Maybe this was how they did it here at this Thai restaurant, I thought. Such GREAT service!! So I allowed her to spoon up the leftovers, and watched as she gently closed the lid, placed the box into a plastic bag, then tightly knotted it twice for safekeeping. Meanwhile Kate sat there, with her box and heaping plateful of food, waiting for the same special service--- that never came. As soon as the waitress finished with my box, she turned on her heel and left. The look on Kate's face was priceless. There she sat with two humongous mounds of food left on her plate and an empty box. No special treatment for her.

I guess the waitress decided Kate was capable of dishing up her own food. After all, Kate could speak. You have to wonder what they think sometimes-- Hearing people. That you need a voice in order to dish up food? I don't get it. But that's when it hit home how different the world is for culturally Deaf people.


We haven't been back to the Thai place, even though the food was good.

Yeah-- I get it.

ASL Practice With My Husband

My husband and I took a couple beginning ASL sessions together two years ago, then he forgot nearly everything. He’s busy. We didn’t practice enough. I have deaf/HH friends who know a little sign, so I practiced with them and advanced more quickly, then he decided to drop out and I took more classes. To be fair, he isn’t a stupid man. He was fluent in German when we met, and he has taught himself French and Spanish since then. Normally he picks up languages quickly.

Now I’m taking ASL at the local community college, and finding I need to practice more often. So last weekend I asked him to help with my ASL vocabulary. Also, I thought maybe if he helped me practice he might pick up a few words. Sound like a good plan?

Breakfast seemed like the right time. I asked if he remembered the sign for bacon. We learned that before. He didn’t remember. I showed him.

“Really?” he asked in surprise, “Why are the fingers sizzling in an H instead of a B?”

“Whoa, great question!” I thought smiling. So I explained how the H looks more like a thin strip of bacon whereas the B- hand doesn’t.

Then I asked if he remembered the sign for coffee.
He made the sign for making out. I snickered and showed him the difference between “making out” and “coffee.”

Then I showed him “syrup.”

“Not to be confused with gas,” I said.

“Gas?” he piped up , “Which kind?”

“The kind you pump.” I showed him my fist. This is the tank, and here’s your spout. My right thumb became a spout.

“Oh!” he smiled mischievously, “How do you sign the other kind???” Men are just little boys in big pants, I thought to myself. Didn‘t my mom always say that?

I only just recently learned that “gas” sign. “Weellll,. . .” I made my hand into a fist again, “You see this fist can have another meaning. It looks like, er. . .an . . .something at the other end of your body. . .that can be offensive.“ He smiled broadly, as I traced around the index finger and thumb of my fist. He understood. Good, I thought.

“In fact,” I went on, “you don’t ever want to do the gasoline sign, stick your thumb ALL the way in, then pull it out with a jerk while frowning at someone or pointing at them. That’s bad. But the other kind of gas sign is. . .well, . . . you can make it look like air is coming out of your fist (which represents the other end) by filling up your cheeks with air, then pushing quick puffs out of your mouth while spreading your other hand out over the obscene part of the fist, OR you can just hold your nose.” I demonstrated. . .

“Why is it bad to. . .?”

“Nevermind,” I cut him off.

Next, it was time to practice. I’m terrible at lip-reading random words. Who isn’t?? There’s no context.

“mmmppfff” he says.

“What?”

Mmmmpppfff” he emphasized.

I still didn’t get it.

“MMMPPPPFFFF.” he said it louder, moving his lips in slow motion.

“Sorry, I’m NOT getting it.”

“You know--MPF!, MMPPFF!” He said in frustration.

“Can you fingerspell it?”

He thought and paused as he formed each letter carefully. I’ve been told by ASL teachers to be patient because man fingers aren’t as nimble as female fingers. I sat. . .waiting. . . patiently.


Then I was confused. “S-t-r-u-n-k?” I guessed.

“NO!” he gasped in frustration. “I forgot “tht-- what’s THT?!?”

“tht?. . .ummmm” I thought hard.

Moving on, we proceeded down my list of vocabulary words. Several chapters worth. Each time I didn’t sign something exactly as it showed in the book, he’d correct me.

“Shows here TWO hands.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s OK to do it with one.” I would assure him.

“That’s not what it shows.” He'd argue.

“Well, I’m telling you it’s OK!”

“Look. YOU did THIS, and the picture shows THIS! He would hold up the book. “You did it WRONG.”

“NO. I. DIDN’T. Deaf people sometimes use one hand because the other hand is busy. They don’t ALWAYS sign everything exactly the way it shows in the book!”

“Well, I’m just telling you so you’ll know. . .And your other hand WASN’T busy! Do you NOT want me to say anything if you do it the wrong way? Because from now on, every time you make a mistake I just won‘t say anything. . .if that‘s what you want . . .”

(sigh)

Then he signed a sentence. “You, me, make-out.” Clear as day. His eyebrows moved up and down suggestively. And another sentence . . . “I horny.”

This was no accident. We learned “horny” a couple years ago in ASL after a German woman accidentally told the entire class how horny she was. “Horny” happens to be one of the few signs my husband has never forgotten. Why? He’s a man.

I adore him, but he’s a lousy study buddy. I don’t get much ASL practice at home. I need Deaf support.

Cochlear Implants for Babies??

So I've been reading Mishkazena's blog, and as usual the issue of Cochlear Implants for babies has came up again. Some feel AGBell, Cochlear Implants for babies, and a few oral deaf people who blog about the positive benefits of oral education was the root cause of all this fuss-- which finally led to John's deficit thinking/censorship outburst. Read his blog here if you haven't already. John's blog (Since the time I originally posted my blog, John has recanted. Now he says he only meant deficit thinking should be censored, not certain individuals. See Johns New Blog.) At this point I'm super confused. I don't know how you can censor thoughts. I don't mean this sarcastically. I understand there's a disconnect because John's second language is English and I'm just now learning ASL. We're all supposed to be part of the same community but we don't even speak the same language.

As a late-deafened person. I often feel like I have one foot in deaf world and one in hearing. While my world isn't always totally silent, I think I understand the daily ins and outs of deafness. To give an example, recently my kids were talking about the sound squirrels made.

"They make sounds?" I asked. I didn't know. I grew up hearing. I should have known all the animal sounds by age fifty. But life is a learning experience and I have missed a few things along the way. We don't know exactly when my hearing loss began, so maybe I missed more things than I realized. I had never heard squirrel chatter before, and no one ever mentioned it. That I'm fifty, and only just now learned animals in my yard make a noise I didn't know about floored me!! That's what deafness is all about. For me. . . Deafhood is something different for others.


Similar incidents have happened over the years. On camping trips I've learned we were near rivers or lakes in the morning. Everyone else heard it when we pitched our tent at night, but they never said anything. People knew there were beehives in places I didn't know about because they could hear the hum. My deaf world is full of wonder. There's surprise when I'm on a hike and round a bend to find a waterfall. The hearing know it's there all along because they can hear it for miles.

BUT because they are too distracted with their ears, hurrying to get to a river or an ocean they hear, sometimes they miss other things I see with my eyes. I stop and marvel at dew on a spiderweb, an unusual red bug, a pretty rock, and lag behind hearing hikers because I'm in awe of the beauty around me. Colors seem more brilliant than they did when I could hear well. Movement catches my eye with its rhythm. Sunlight and shadows wink through spaces to catch my attention. Maybe that's how I enjoy Deafhood? I don't know. That's when I enjoy deafness.

I have been deaf to many sounds most my life, if not speech-- and now I'm deaf to most speech too. I still understand the hearing world because I remember hearing. I remember the soft and tinkly sound of flowing water in the distance. I also remember the sound of leaves crunching beneath my feet. I barely remember cricket chirps. I haven't heard a mosquito since I was a very little girl, but I remember they made a high-pitched sound when they flew. So I know what it's like to be distracted by sounds. Hearing is still my "culture" even though I don't quite fit in. I have missed out on a lot of stuff after I started to lose my hearing.

I am not hearing or Deaf. I am deaf. In my perfect world everyone would sign and talk at the same time. The hearing would caption their videos and the Deaf would caption their vlogs. I would not care about sentence structure or spelling because I appreciate the time it takes to caption. I realize not everyone's first language is English. I would not care about perfect ASL because I realize not everyone's first language is ASL.

So what does any of this have to do with Mishkazena's blog??? And implants for babies??? I keep wondering about the subject of cochlear implants on babies. Have any of you personally known a baby who was implanted? I haven't. I have read the occasional news accounts of the rare implant that got infected. Circumcisions also get infected sometimes, and they are painful. Babies are given nothing to deaden the pain. I think it's a brutal practice. (If you want to read a horror story, there was a baby boy many years ago whose penis accidentally got lopped off during circumcision. A psychologist decided it would be best to turn him into a girl after that. Very, very sad, but true story!!) As Nature Made Him

I have seen videos of people who were implanted young and they seem to have better speech than people my age who grew up with hearing aids. Since I'm deaf I have asked others to evaluate their speech too. The deaf speech doesn't seem to be present. This is really great I think, because unclear "deaf speech" can be considered somewhat of an obstacle in the hearing world and may hinder one's job propects!

The reason hearing parents may choose to implant their kids is because infant language development begins early. National Institutes of Health Language Development A lag in language development can impact a child's ability to read and learn later on. We all know how important education is, especially in today's world. I honestly don't think believe cochlear implants are about "hearing supremacy" or a desire to wipe out Deaf people. They are about opportunities. I have met a few implanted late-deafened adults who can talk on telephones and I'm impressed with their hearing capabilities. I don't know if they can hear mosquitos or squirrels. Probably not. But I knew them before their implants and after, so I was able to make a comparison. The differences astounded me!!

If I had a Deaf child I'm not sure what I would do about a cochlear implant, but I AM sure the child would be taught ASL. I am not an expert on any of this. I am only a late-deafened mom who has raised three kids, and this is only my opinion based on how I see it. There are risks with the cochlear implant--yes. But there may also be many opportunities. Each parent needs to weigh the risks and oppportunities against the child's individual needs, whether the child has other challenges, and how healthy the child is. Parents need to consider their own lifestyles, their financial resources, and family support systems. There are so many factors to consider before a major surgery. Perhaps the some parents feel pressured into implanting their child and cave. It's intensely personal and we shouldn't judge them after the decision has been made. They only do their best given the information they've received.

I wish I learned ASL earlier. I wish my family knew ASL and that I had more friends who knew ASL. When you have a cochlear implant you are still deaf in a lot of situations, and the processor has to come off. Or it malfunctions. Or the batteries need to be changed. ASL makes so much sense for ALL deaf/Deaf people, especially children.

I hope we can all remain open, as I believe hearing parents need support from the Deaf community more than ever before-- and it needs to be positive support if we want them to listen.

What do YOU want?

Yesterday while processing a book, it fell open to a page that said

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT, NOT WHAT YOU DON'T WANT.

Sometimes when things like this happen I wonder if someone is trying to give me a message. I believe in angels and spirit guides and I'm prone to picking up on psychic messages sometimes. So I stopped and paid attention. The overly large word fonts stood right out on a bright red page. My daughter would say this was all a total coincidence because I handle hundreds of books every day, but nevermind--- that's not the point of this blog. The words popped out at me, and this seemed to mean something important at that moment.

I guess the reason it hit me was this;

I realized I've been thinking about exactly the wrong things lately. I've been worrying too much-- about a lot of stuff. Without even realizing I was worrying. Because I was not thinking about this negative stuff consciously, until that moment it didn't hit me how much I had been stewing.

I'll admit I've become cynical about wants. Life aint fair. Wants?! HA! Get real. Shit happens. There are ways of dealing with the hard knocks. But I'm not going to go into all that just now. Instead I'll copy the inspirational path to everlasting "peace" I tried to follow for awhile.

Buddist philosophy--

All human life is "dhukka" (impermanent
unsatisfactoriness).
All suffering is caused
by human desire,particularly the desire that impermanent things be
permanent.
Human suffering can be ended by ending human desire.
Desire
can be ended by following the "Eightfold Noble Path": right understanding, right
thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right
mindfulness, and right concentration.

But you know what? It didn't work. Why? Because wanting is the American way, and not wanting is the same as wanting when it comes right down to it. Say for example I don't want to do poorly on my ASL test on Monday. That's the same as wanting to do well. Right? I have been SO STUPID!

Then I remembered this little nugget of wisdom -- Buddhists base ethical decisions on the consequences of their actions, how they would feel if the action was done to them, and whether the action was helpful to their well-being or the well-being of another. (It's like the Golden Rule. "Do unto others. . .") This is what appeals to me about Buddhism --Your actions should be determined by whether they serve the well-being of self and others, rather than if they fit in with someone's ancient idea of right and wrong 2000 years ago. Not that I have a problem with Jesus, per se. But the Golden Rule is timeless, while many hateful passages of the Bible that some people misinterpret, twist around and spout off serve no useful purpose.

Anyway--Thinking about stuff I don't want to happen won't get me closer to any of the things I DO want to happen.

Of course it is OK to want something as long as it promotes well-being of self and/or others.

Sometimes we turn down what's in front of us for the taking. Ever done that? Sometimes you don't think you deserve something, other times you think you're too good. Maybe you don't. I do. I admit.

So I've been thinking about this a lot the past couple days, and then it hit me that these same thoughts could be applied to the ASL debates people have been having.

You see-- one of my wants is to be able to communicate better without having to worry about hearing. I want that so BAD. I want that more than I want to go through surgery. (I guess not everyone knows-- I **might** be able to have a surgery for an experimental cochlear hybrid.) But I'm not sure I want it. This is why I'm taking ASL. I don't know many people who use ASL right now. I'm meeting some. I worry other Deaf people will not like me because I am slow and a beginner. All I want is to be able to communicate freely and easily. That's all. Well OK--that's not really, really all, but that's all I'm admitting to right now. ASL promotes the well-being of self and others. An experimental surgery? . . .Eh?

In the past several weeks of reading and posting in Deafread, a few people have said they don't like to "slow down" to talk to "hearing" people who are learning ASL. Some of them have said they don't like going to events where non-deaf ASL learners will be present. Some have complained that speakers of other sign languages feel unwelcome-- specifically a man whose partner spoke BSL. Now lately, I've been reading about ISL. Recently someone wrote in a blog her two-year-old deaf-blind son was shunned after a couple Deaf people noticed he was wearing a CI. Additionally, some of my late-deafened friends who were learning ASL have shared personal experiences of being shunned by Deaf people as well. By the way, we can't help it if English was our first language and that our ASL is crappy.

I believe the majority of you are NICE folks who wouldn't dream of shunning a two-year-old deaf-blind boy. Most of you have been so very nice to me.

But I just have to ask ---What do YOU want?

The painting is called "Storms Aftermath" by Charles Bourke Wildbank. He has been profoundly deaf since birth. I really relate to the storm surrounding his cochlea.

Communication Barriers

Last Wednesday marked my fourth day in ASL class and I was pleased with my test score of 99 out of 100. This wasn't a huge surprise because much of the vocabulary was a review since I've already taken courses at the Hearing Speech and Deafness Cntr. and have spent lots of time conversing with a couple deaf friends. I was worried that I had lost some vocabulary since I haven't seen them lately, but it's quickly coming back.

The great thing about my college course is my deaf teacher is spending more time on ASL grammar and convention than my previous instructor did. She's moving quickly and I've already picked up many new words including the ASL names for all the local cities around here. Up til now I've only known Seattle, the town where my daughter goes to school, and a few towns in my vicinity. My teacher is absolutely wonderful! She's a natural mime. She has a great sense of humor and it's a perfect class for me in that we aren't allowed to talk, so it's a real visual experience which is the best way for me to learn ASL as a late-deafened person. One concern I previously had about taking college courses was that so many of them are geared towards interpreters.

Because we don't use our voices in class, I go into "no voice" mode and had not talked once until last Wednesday. Occasionally she does ask for people in the class to interpret what she's signing. It's clear she expects class participation and so--last Wednesday she asked (by pointing) for someone to make up a sentence and for someone else to "interpret." Pretty much the entire class had spoken up at some point. I knew she expected me to particpate. There came a time when no one knew the answer but me. As I've explained in the past, when I'm in ASL mode I really enjoy NOT talking, and I take my hearing aids off in class, so I'm kicking back just enjoying ASL and deafness. At that point when she kept asking if anyone knew the answer, I struggled with this because I knew the answer and no one else did. Very hesitantly I raised my hand and spoke aloud-- for the first time.

Then she signed "again" until I repeated my answer three times. She has never done this to anyone else. I always sit right up front. She's hard-of-hearing/deaf-- I'm not sure which. I don't know if I wasn't speaking loudly enough or if she was having trouble reading my lips, but I was embarrassed. I've become self-conscious of my speech because people have said it has changed and have asked about my "accent." Then when she made me repeat the answer over and over and over I wondered if she didn't understand me because I was talking weird, and if everyone else in the class thought I had weird speech. Finally she signed my interpretation was correct and moved on. She has sort of a teasing way about her, so I'm pretty sure she wasn't doing it to be mean. But it was awkward for me and I'm not sure if I will speak again for the rest of the quarter when she asks someone to "interpret." And I can't talk to her about it because we're only allowed to sign with her. Do I need to reframe my perspective? This is way too complicated to for me to discuss with her partly because I might be over-reacting, and partly because I don't have the ASL vocabulary to clearly express my feelings or concerns about the possibility that my speech might be deteriorating along with my hearing. How convoluted is that?? I mean. . . the irony of it-- I'm in ASL to learn how to talk with my hands and feeling awkward about my voice.

Picture above taken by Wanderlust http://flickr.com/photos/phoebewanders/

This Whole Stupid LipReading Thing

I'm late-deafened. I can read lips, and I do pretty well at it. But I want to clarify what this means exactly because there seems to be a lot of misconception out there about super beings and miraculous lip reading skills.

First of all, let me just say right here if you ever saw the show F.B. EYE with the deaf Deanne Bray, you need to understand this is a TV show. It's make-believe. Fiction. No one in the real world reads lips THAT well. You have to be able to hear a little bit to be able to lip read. The more you hear, the better you do. Many deaf people have some residual hearing that helps them with lip reading and that's why some can "get by" with it.

I still have some low tone hearing. I am deaf to most speech sounds, but I because I hear some speech sounds--specifically vowels-- I can "get by" with lip reading. Vowel sounds are almost always made in the back of the throat. They can't be seen on the lips. Try it. Say the vowel sounds to yourself--short and long. Chances are the only time you'll move your lips is when you say the long O and long U. Even then, a deaf person wouldn't know if you were making the O, OO, or OW sound just by looking at your lips. I am lucky because I can hear the difference since I still hear low tones. There are vowels in every word. This helps me a LOT.

In fact, 70% of all sounds in the English language cannot be seen on the lips because the sounds are made in the back of the throat. If a person hears nothing at all, that means they must guess at 70% of what can't be seen. Doesn't that seem like an awful lot of guessing to you? It sure does to me.

Even if you were able to guess those 70% of sounds you can't see, you would still have more guessing to do. Why? Because so many other sounds look exactly alike on the lips-- t and d, k and g, p and b, f and v, s and z. I cannot hear the differences of any of these sounds. I cannot hear these sounds at all. When I talk to people, I have to guess.

Since I grew up hearing English and losing my hearing bit by bit, I learned an association of sound with lips. I have some context to help put the sounds in the right places. I understand the rhythm of speech, especially those voices I've known a long time. I can guess what some people are going to say before they say it, and sometimes I guess what they have said just by the rhythm of the sound because I know them. The point is I'm guessing what people are saying. I'm NOT "reading their lips."

I can not imagine how difficult it would be for a deaf child to learn this skill with no previous exposure to the sounds and rhythm of speech.

Then-- there are other problems with lipreading.
1. The person has an accent so he or she doesn't pronounce his or her letters the way most English speakers do.
2. The person doesn't move his or her lips while speaking. Some are so shy they barely move their mouths at all when they speak. Other people are paralyzed and can't.
3. The person has a speech impediment.
4. The person is self-conscious of his or her mouth and covers it a lot.
5. The person has a hairy beard that covers the lips.
6. The person has some kind of distracting oral tick or fixation such as playing with a pierced tongue, or talking out of the side of his or her mouth.
7. The person chews gum or bites nails.
8. The person is missing many teeth and cannot pronounce words correctly
9. There is glare behind the person's head, making it difficult for you to see the lips.
10. It's too dark.
11. The person is distracted or shy and has a hard time facing you. Or simply won't!
12. There is background noise drowning out what little sound you hear, so you have to guess even more than 70% of the conversation.
(I probably haven't covered everything here so feel free to list a few of your own if you think of something.)

Let's face it. Lipreading is a fine TOOL, but it's not a great way to communicate. It requires way too much work. Knowing all these facts about lip reading makes shows like F. B. Eye upsetting to me mainly because it promotes unrealistic expectations of the deaf.

When my progressive hearing loss was first diagnosed my doctor encouraged me to learn to lip read, but it turned out I already knew how, because I had picked it up on my own as a kid. I was "assessed" as an expert lip reader-- meaning I could lip read those 30% of sounds that could be seen on the lips. However, the lip reading didn't help. I was stressed all the time trying to communicate with people. Can you imagine trying to guess what people were talking about 70% of the time? HLA (SHHH) also encourages lip reading by passing out little buttons to wear in public with they words, "Face me, I lip read." This is so wrong to do because, again I want to stress, it promotes the false assumption that lip-reading is a way to communicate.

Often I let people know I read lips, but I also tell them I'm learning ASL too. I wish someone (like HLA) had encouraged me to learn ASL earlier. I have talked to so many late-deafened people who feel disappointed in their inabilities to learn lip reading. They thought it would be easy, then found out how hard it was. They thought there was something wrong with them, rather than with the program!!

People who promote lip reading skills promote false hope for all hard-of-hearing, d-deaf, and D-deaf. They set us up for failure. It doesn't work! What we need-- the late-deafened especially- is more community outreach so we and our families can learn ASL.

I love you, Mrs. Jones

Yesterday Mrs. Jones came into the library. "How are you today?" She talks and signs at the same time.

"Good. YOU?" I talk and sign back.

"I'm starting a new job. Nervous!" she signs.

I love Mrs. Jones. Her daughter is deaf. Mrs. Jones works with deaf kids and she signs without thinking because she signs all day. She knows I sign because I sign to her daughter when she comes into the library. I'm the only one in the library who signs to her daughter. I guess they don't run into many people in public who sign, so it's a big deal when they do, and they always make a point to come over and talk to me. My signing is very rudimentary. I need practice-- bad.

One problem with being late-deafened is finding people to practice ASL with. There are ASL classes, but most the students are hearing and the classes are often geared toward hearing people who want to become interpreters. I'm more of a visual learner. In that sense I feel I might "think" like a deaf person. ASL seems so logical to me. I pick up the vocabulary quickly and retain it well. I do better in immersion classes where talking isn't allowed. My downfall is fingerspelling. I hate it. I LOVE deaf people-- the way they express themselves. My deaf teacher from the Hearing, Speech and Deafness Cntr. was so funny and patient with me. But she moved and it became harder for us to get together. I miss her. I have met several other wonderful deaf people, but few live in my area, and it has been hard to coordinate our work schedules.

There are deaf gatherings in my community organized by a hearing ASL teacher who I can't stand. She got on my case last fall about my inability to lip read in the dark. 'Scuse me, but when it's dark it's pretty hard for people who rely on their eyes for communication. I found out later she has offended a lot of deaf people all over Seattle-metro, but I live in a small community and she's here shoving her way in. I won't have anything to do with her.

"I love it when you sign to me, Mrs. Jones." I said.

She looked a little confused and surprised. "Really?"

Second Class Citizen

This happened awhile ago, but I still laugh whenever I think about it. One time Meg and I went to a Thai place for lunch. (The picture above has nothing to do with this story, except that it's of a Thai waitress I got off the net.)

Meg had been mentoring me in ASL and our routine was to eat lunch in restaurants with our hearing aids removed. Because I needed the ASL practice, she normally did the oral speaking when the wait staff came around for our orders. I would point to my order. If the waitress had a question I couldn't lip read or she didn't face me, Meg would sign it to me and I would sign back. Thus, waiters and waitresses sometimes got the impression I was not oral.

I was not doing this to pull the wool over any one's eyes. I want to make it clear I wasn't asking for special favors or accommodations or even sympathy in these restaurants. My decision not to speak was purely motivated by the need for extra ASL practice. The more I could cram into our lunch sessions, the better. Also, I found it relaxing to be able to eat in restaurants without my hearing aids; to be able to communicate freely in ASL without having to worry about hearing. As a late-deafened person, I cannot begin to describe the excitement I felt by doing something as simple as going out to eat in a busy restaurant at lunchtime without the usual encumbrance of worrying about how I was going to HEAR the conversation.

So as usual-- when the waitress came around Meg ordered orally, and I pointed. The waitress had a question about my order and directed it to "oral" Meg, who signed to me, then I signed back, and Meg answered the waitress' questions for me. Soon our meal was brought around and we ate and signed happily for about an hour. Then, I became full and decided I might need a box to take the rest home. I signed, "FULL! Need box." Meg, who eats like a bird, also had a fully loaded plate of food. So Meg waved the waitress over and asked for our meals to be boxed up. Then we began signing about where we wanted to shop after the restaurant. . .

Next thing I know the waitress came over to the table and started boxing up my food, as if I were a child. This is new, I thought. Normally they just drop off the boxes and leave. I started to grab the spoon, but she kindly waved me off and indicated she wished to box it for me, so I let her. And sat there with an awkward stupid grin on my face. Meanwhile Meg waited and waited with her empty box-- thinking the waitress would offer the same service to her. After all, she had more food left on her plate than me. Next, the waitress closed the lid of my box carefully, placed it neatly into a plastic bag, then knotted it tightly -- all the while smiling in such a kind, benevolent way. Then she bowed slightly, turned on her heel and walked away, leaving Meg gaping over a humongous plateful of Thai food and an empty box.

Imagine Meg's surprise.

I signed that maybe the waitress thought she was more capable because she was the "oral" one. We shrugged it off and laughed. But I was honestly shocked. I never realized some people treated the deaf differently, like invalids. This was my first clear experience of audism. Though it wasn't altogether negative, I can only say that was because I tried to justify the waitress' actions by telling myself she meant well. If I really weren't oral, it probably would have hurt deeply that she had bagged my food as if I were a helpless five-year-old.

She did it again

Yesterday a deaf friend friend came over to pick up my son's waterbed because he's moving away in less than two weeks. We made deal--my son and I. When he moves out the waterbed goes. He isn't sad about it. He hasn't been sleeping in it all summer. Somewhere he read that waterbeds stunt your growth. An inch shy of six feet, maybe he's anxious to grow a couple more centimeters, I don't know. Eighteen-year-olds aren't big on communication. He's been trading off sleeping on the futon in the den and the family room sofa all summer. I have mentioned my friend (I'll call her Meg) in another blog-- "My Friend's Hands"

She drove a borrowed truck over, then we deconstructed the bed for her, so she could see how it would go back together. My husband drew pictures on the inside of boards to identify each piece and its relative position on the bed. I know she won't have any trouble. One thing about people born deaf is they seem to have a super spatial IQ. Those I've met-- admittedly I have personally met maybe only 30?-- are natural artists, engineers and tinkerers. Meg has a degree in computer science. Stupid she is not.

So during the deconstructing, panting, dusting, sneezing, moving, sweating, more panting, labeling, packing in the truck process-- my son mumbled he had lost his keys. "Mmmmpf had them, and felt bad about mmmpf, grmmfpt, mmmfpt. He had mmpfg, grmmmfp mmmmmfg, but couldnt mmmfg, mmmmmfg. . . .

"What?" I asked.

He yelled his story over again, but he wasn't in a position for me to see his mouth. I'm not sure I've mentioned my husband has also lost some hearing loss due to Menieres. So they began yelling back and forth, to the point even a DEAF person could hear them.

Oh WAIT! I AM DEAF, and I couldn't understand a word they were saying. But I'm sure the entire neighborhood heard them. With my hearing, because I hear low tones, I am aware of volume. The problem is speech doesn't make any sense, because my speech frequencies are all but gone.

"What? I asked again.

Luckily Meg was there, and she waved my attention. This is how deaf people do it instead of shouting. Yelling and shouting is an idiotic way of getting some one's attention when they can't hear. Think about it. Then she started signing a few words here and there to fill in the blanks for me.

Ah--I got it! He didn't have a spare key to his trunk. He would have to go to a locksmith and it would cost a lot of money to have a mold made for a trunk key. He can't get his trunk open at all because the inside latch is broken. (God knows what's inside the trunk-- I hope no rotting food.) His friend is sorry for losing the key. . .

We had lunch together, then she emailed when she got home with the bed. It would be nice to have another deaf person in the house, I was thinking. Two lip-readers are better than one, and we could sign to each other all the time. Or maybe I just need a live in interpreter so I can communicate with my family, since they can't/won't/forget to sign?

I have big plans for this empty room.

Notes about the painting above--

Born in Basaluzzo (Alessandria) in 1950, she studied in Rome at the "Accademia delle Belle Arti" (arts academy), where she followed post-diploma courses in set design. Currently, she is an Art Education instructor at a middle school in Rome.
She collaborates, as a set designer, with the deaf theater group "Laboratorio Zero" and with another theater company, "A. Bottazzi" in Basaluzzo.
In addition, she does graphic art work in the field of advertising, humorous drawings about the deaf world, and murals.
She has had a one-man show in Basaluzzo in 1983, and has participated in numerous regional and national group shows, receiving prizes and recognition.

Silence
This painting was inspired by a meeting with a deaf American poet, Clayton Valli, in Rome. It was used as the cover for a videotape containing Valli's poems.
The subtitle that the artist has selected conveys a clear message: "The silent language of the hands, in the harmony of Mother Nature."
Inspired by the creative expression in Valli's signed poems, Zuccotti's work vividly depicts a "creativity" concept that is neither noise nor sound, but is peace, fertile silence, nature that speaks, and hands that communicate.

http://tinyurl.com/2y94cz

My Friend's Hands

Yesterday a deaf friend came over to check out my son's waterbed that we're planning to drain and dispose of since he's moving into a college dorm soon (whoopee!). I haven't been practicing ASL enough, and I'd forgotten how wonderful it is to have someone sign a word when you need a repeat, instead of asking them to say it over and over and over again. Even though we talked orally, we automatically signed most the time too. That was so nice for me because I'm not fluent enough to depend totally on ASL, though I could communicate with her in ASL for a couple hours without speaking last spring. I'm just SO out of practice now!! I don't hear well enough to depend on my ears anymore either. I CAN of course, because I have to, since my family and most of my friends are hearing, but lipreading (speechreading) is so much work. What a relief to be around someone who signs! I guess that's the problem with being late-deafened. If I had been born deaf I would be more proficient in ASL, and have more deaf friends, but I wasn't. After awhile I even took out my hearing aids, which I hate wearing.

It was also really nice connecting with her because I haven't seen her for a long time, and I've missed her. I haven't seen any other deaf people in awhile either. I showed her the results of my new audiogram. She's one of the few people I know who can look at it and actually understand what it means. Our audiograms are almost alike, but now that mine has taken another dive she says she thinks my hearing is worse. She was born with her hearing loss, so her hearing is more stable than mine.

We discussed cochlear implants, a local deaf club's new webpage, and another local club's picnic. We thought it would be nice to have a get-together with all the deaf/late-deaf people we know in the area, and talked about deaf people we had not seen in awhile who we would like to see again. . .and so on. Then, she looked at my video phone because it wasn't working and promised to send an email with the name of someone who could troubleshoot it. I had recently been to the DVR and she had just made an appointment to go there. We discussed what they offer to people with hearing loss, the ADA laws, how to get accommodations at work, etc. These are the kinds of things I don't/can't talk to hearing people about, and I crave this. I think I've mentioned before the support I get from my deaf friends is my lifeline, not that I love hearing friends less. A couple have even offered to take ASL with me, which made me tear up a little.

I've made a mental note to prioritize registering for ASL classes at the nearby community college this fall, so I can stay more involved. (I have taken three basic ASL immersion classes from the Hearing, Speech and Deafness Cntr.) Between that and the belly dancing I'll be gone three nights a week. But I feel it's imperative to stay in touch with deaf friends, which I can't do if I can't communicate with them.