A Reflection

I’ve already blogged about this in Myspace, but I felt like blogging about it here too. Sorry if you’ve already read it.

Something happened in Mexico that profoundly moved me. One afternoon after lunch, my husband and I were walking up the beach when we saw a man and woman dragging a lifeless teenaged boy from the water in the distance. At first I thought he might be dead. He was so young-- I estimated somewhere between fifteen to nineteen years. My heart went to my throat. This was the first time I had ever seen a lifeless body pulled from water. Because he was a child, it was a pretty intense and emotional moment for me.

Since I know first aid and CPR, I ran ahead to see if they needed assistance. My husband ran off to find a life guard. There was only one to cover all three beaches. As I got closer I could see the boy’s lips were still pink, but I asked if he was breathing anyway-- maybe just because I needed to say something and I needed to be sure. The other two brought him up on the sand and confirmed they had seen him inhale and felt an exhale. They worked quickly as they checked for signs of life, and seemed to know what they were doing. Then they rolled him onto his side so he could cough up the sea water that came next.

Next they told me what happened. The boy had appeared intoxicated. They watched him stumble into the water, then roll around in the waves awhile until he passed out. Just as they finished their story, he sputtered, coughed, spit out some more seawater, and came to. Then he stood up and ran into the waves again.

By this time a crowd had gathered, and the first man went after him along with another man from the crowd. The men dragged the boy back to the beach kicking and screaming in Spanish. It wasn’t easy bringing him to shore the second time. The boy stumbled and fell into a heap onto the beach, then kicked at people in the crowd who started to gather around him. He got up onto his knees, and again darted out. Two guys grabbed him a third time, and threw up back onto the beach, yelling at him to STAY! But of course he couldn’t understand because he spoke Spanish. Most of us in the crowd spoke English, though a few Mexicans had also joined us-- beach vendors of wood carvings or blankets, and a guy who operated a paragliding outfit.

The crowd closed in. Once more the boy tried to run at a couple of people, but each time was met by a big man who pushed him back. Eventually he realized he wouldn’t break through the crowd, so he threw himself down in a brown, boney, wet heap-- sniffling and whimpering in Spanish, a look of hopelessness on his face.

At that moment I scanned the crowd. Here were people from all walks of life--Americans and Mexicans, old and young, male and female, Straight and Gay (we were next to the Gay beach), Black and White, deaf (me) and hearing, and probably all different religious affiliations as well--all of us working together to prevent one young man from killing himself that afternoon. We stood there silently, a human cage surrounding him, keeping him safe from himself.

The capacity to care for strangers is what sets us apart from other animals. For those few moments I felt so connected. I have had days I wanted to die. I have grieved the loss of loved ones. I knew the others stood there with me for the very same reasons. We‘ve all had days we wanted to die. We all knew people we couldn‘t bear to lose. In these moments, the boy was our brother, our son, our friend, our lover, he was someone important, though none of us knew him.

Then in a flash the lifeguard came with his cell phone, called the authorities, and started asking questions. Those who knew Spanish began talking. The couple who dragged the boy from the water told their story, and the crowd began to disperse. It was over. My husband and I went on our way. I’ve been thinking about that boy ever since, and all those people who cared enough to stop him from killing himself. I hope he’s OK now.

My Mexican Vacation --Part 2 with pictures.

We had such a fantastic time in Puerto Vallarta I didn’t want to come home. As a tourist, you’ve got your choice of cruises, jungle tours, festival!, shopping/haggling, hiking, fishing, snorkeling, paragliding, and my favorite-- just taking it easy on the beach. Night life thrums along the beach until well past 3am. Few, if any, activities require hearing. This was taken at Festival!

Most of the Mexicans we encountered in the city knew some English so we could get around OK. If you can’t hear, I suggest using pen and paper. They are eager to communicate and don‘t look down on you if you‘re Deaf. I’d like to thank Anonymous who commented to my previous post about the differences between sordO and sordA-- male vs. female deaf people. Just point to your ear when you say it. They’ll figure it out. They are used to talking to people who don’t speak the language and are open minded about mistakes.

Here are some things you might want to know.
*Food-- There was a surprising variety and it was tasty. I say the variety was a surprise because the only other touristy spot I’ve been to was Cabo which is quite a bit smaller and doesn‘t offer the food choices. Real Mexican food is not covered with cheese. Their mainstay on the coast is fish. They also eat a LOT of vegetables, so if you order a burrito or fajita, expect half a plate of marinated veggies, guacamole, and a teeny amount of cheese--if any. American hamburgers and sandwiches are popular, as well as coffee/internet cafes. One place offered a number of tasty fruit smoothies. Tropical fruits are abundant and always in season. BBQ is popular too. The second most well-liked ethnic food was Italian. Pizza and Pasta restaurants were everywhere. We also found an Asian restaurant, though we didn’t eat there. Two buffets offered tiramisu for dessert. As a vegetarian, I pretty much stuck to salads, veggie sandwiches, pastas and Mexican meatless dishes. Service was slow. One time we waited an hour for pizza. A half-hour or more was typical. We almost always had to ask for our bill when we were through eating. You can eat just forty feet from the waves right on the beach at night. They bring out a torch for light.

*Bathrooms. Learn the word baño. You will need to ask where it is when you are out because it won‘t be obvious. Sometimes you will see the international signs with a woman in a dress or a man. Other times you won‘t. Be careful. Banos are not always clearly labeled.

*Tours-- Don’t expect Deaf accommodations. Don’t expect safety accommodations. We rarely found a working seat belt. Don’t expect anyone to be on time. You’re not in Amerika.

Here is an example. . . We were told to be at the San Marino hotel at 9:10 am for our El Eden Jungle Tour. By 10:10am, my husband asked the concierge for the 20th time, “Are you SURE they’re coming?” The previous 19 times he had been told they were sometimes “late.” No worries. But this time the concierge called and was informed we were to be sent by taxi to another hotel. The Jungle Tour company paid our taxi fare. Somehow there had been a mix-up. No explanation. Just lots of rapid serious Spanish discussion on the phone, hurried driving to get the Americans to the right spot, then smiling and nodding as we took our seat on the bus.

From the hotel we suffered through a hair-raising bus ride up a narrow, rutted, mountainous dirt road with hairpin turns and unguarded cliff edges. At times when another vehicle needed to pass in the opposite direction we balanced just inches from 500 foot drops offs. I wished I had not chosen a window seat.

Our tour guide talked non-stop switching back and forth easily between Spanish and English. I couldn’t understand either language.

By the time we reached the top I was sick with headache and nausea, and popped a pill I keep on hand for pounding migraines. When the tour guide asked if anyone was up for a hike in the jungle, I said yes. Migraines are caused by constricted blood vessels to the brain. Often exercise will open up the blood vessels. No amount of medication will help when blood vessels are constricted. So up we hiked to a pristine waterfall where cool mountain springs pooled invitingly at the bottom of smooth rocks. Since I wore my bathing suit under my clothing, I stripped happily, and took a dip. This was probably the highlight of the entire trip for me.

Our guide gave me some medical advice -- "When your feet are not the same temperature as your head, it can cause sore throat with the tonsil and headache, so you muss dip your head in the water, Seniora.” At first I refused because I had on my glasses. It’s bad enough to go swimming without hearing aids, but to take off my glasses too, well then I can’t see either and that was asking too much!!

Finally, at his insistence, I dipped. And damn he was right!! My headache went away instantly! I’ve been seeing an expensive neurologist who hasn’t been able figure out my headaches. So remember this little bit of Mestizo wisdom--make sure your feet and head are always the same temperature. The smiling picture of me above was taken as I was getting out of the jungle spring feeling refreshed and headache free!


On the way back, we stopped into a tequila tasting room. Fun, fun, fun!That's my husband posing with hundreds of bottles of tequila. I didn't taste because I didn't want to push my luck after curing the headache.

Another great tour was Rhythms of the Night, which included boat cruise, open bar, food, Native dancing to Aztec type drum music, and romantic open air candlelight dinner in the jungle. We got lucky and timed it on the same night as the full moon. It couldn’t have been more beautiful or romantic.

We also went to a Festival! This included music and dance floor; traditional Mexican folk dancing; drinks; a dancing horse; games such as a contest of female volunteers who had to sing while gargling tequila; fireworks; buffet; piñata; drinks and they make balloon hats for you; dancing; and more drinks! It’s essentially a fun, fun party. Did I mention drinks? Here we are in our hats.

The rest of the time we hung out on the beach, swam in the ocean and walked around the town, did a little shopping. . . I couldn't believe this pelican let me get so close to him!

The temperatures hovered around 90 degrees during the day and 75 at night. The ocean felt perfect, with the water temp maybe upper-70s? The beach slopes off quickly so the waves come in strong, but it's not trecherous once you get past the shore waves and great for body surfing if you're so inclined. I enjoyed bobbing around in the water for awhile each day to cool off. I am a good swimmer and not afraid of the ocean since I grew up on a beach.

We stayed just off Playa de los Muertos in Old Town, where there were cobbled streets and flowers hanging from every window. Old Town is romantic, safe, and we could walk to just about all the tourist hot spots from there, so it was a great location.

My Mexican Vacation

It’s the end of day two in Mexico. So far I’ve found it pretty easy to get around as a hard-of-hearing/deaf vegetarian. I had forgotten how they accost you the second you get off the plane-- official looking people grabbing at you, hoping to sell you a condo and package deals to the luxury vacation of your dreams. We came here to relax.

Night people by nature, we elected not to sleep before leaving home at 2:30am Tues. morning. By 12:15 pm when our plane landed in Puerto Vallarta, we had been awake over 24 hours, and the last meal we had eaten was six pm--eighteen hours before. We were tired, hungry, bedraggled looking and had the words “American sucker” written all over us when we stumbled away from Customs.

I stood patiently listening to the human babble around me. Could have been English or Spanish. Didn‘t make any difference. All I heard was hundreds of people chattering as I watched my husband slowly get sucked into some deal. Nudging him in the leg, I quietly signed the word “no.” We were both tired and vulnerable. I didn’t care about the condos, massages, fancy restaurants or boat cruises displayed before him. We left the airport -- with the taxi driver from hell.

Too tired to think about all the painful ways a person could die in a Mexican taxicab, I was aware he was driving recklessly, but only wanted a bed. Though it did occur to me death was a type of rest. Driving through town, different Spanish words started coming back.

It has been awhile since I’ve been to Mexico. I’ve never had a large Spanish vocabulary, but I know a how to ask for directions to a bathroom and what words mean “meat” on a menu. We arrived at our hotel early. Check-in wasn’t until 4:00 and we still had our Seattle clothing on. Here, it’s a humid 90 degrees.

“Caliente” (hot), I said to the guy managing our suitcases. He had them tagged in a grouping while we waited for our room. Then I picked up my top in the ASL sign for shirt and asked, “change?” while automatically signing “change.” If there has ever been an award given for number of languages used in one sentence, I think that could be it.

“Si” he said, nodding and moving his finger in an around gesture indicating around the corner. Then, he bid another guy to load up our suitcases in Spanish. They started walking, beckoning us to follow. We were escorted to a spacious, air-conditioned suite to change our clothes and rest while waiting for our own room.

AHH! It pays to know a few signs. I use them often with library patrons at work who don’t speak English well. Between the little Spanish I know, the little English they know, and a few signs that seem to be universally understood, I’m generally able to communicate with them pretty well.

After we finally got settled into our room, we went down to the beach, ate, then came back and slept, then went out and ate some more, then came back and slept until noon today. There’s not much else to tell. We were tired and hungry. The beach is beautiful during the day and at night. The food is fantastic, once they get over my shocking request of “no meat.”

“No meat?! No feesh?! No pollo?! Cheecken?! Shreemp?!”

Today I practiced the Spanish words, “Sorry, deaf.” (excusa, sordo) on all the Mexicans selling stuff on the beach. I have no idea if these are the correct words or if I'm pronouncing them right or saying them in perfect order. Maybe I'm supposed to say, "sordo, excusa?" -- I don't know. I looked them up in a dictionary. They will have to do. Some of them nodded when I said sordo and pointed to my ear, so I think maybe they got the idea. I wasn’t lying about this either. I had to take my aids off because of the humidity. I am almost deaf with my aids. Without, I am quite deaf. If any of you know Spanish, I wouldn‘t mind learning a few more words. Thanks.