I went to a Deaf Chat last night for the community college class where I'm taking ASL. My teacher was there and several others from my college, plus students from a different college. But NO Deaf people that I could see. In fact, I believe my teacher and I were probably the only two deaf/HH people there. I'm not totally sure about this, because I didn't know all the students personally. Some students in my ASL class are HH but the HH/deaf students I knew weren't there last night. I have to say I was a bit disappointed. I've been to other Deaf Chats with deaf friends. This time I felt like an oddity being one of two deaf/HH people attending. The first student I sat next to knew **nothing**. He was from the other school. Believe me, I'm not fluent. This guy-- I'm not sure if he knew ANY actual words. He didn't even understand "baby." Really!! I tried to tell him something about my son. He didn't understand the word 'son.' So I broke it down. 'Boy' + 'baby.' He didn't understand either word. I've never met anyone who didn't get it when you signed baby. He didn't understand the difference between 'want' and 'have.' He didn't know 'mother' or 'father' or 'teacher.' He should have known these words even if he was taking beginning ASL 101, because it's already the middle of the quarter. He should have learned those words the first week. We ended up fingerspelling everything.
OK-- I was fine with someone who was a beginner. We all need to start somewhere and it was brave of him to show up. Plus I suck at fingerspelling, so I needed the practice. But he kept checking his phone. He got up and walked away several times without apologizing or saying anything. The thing is I never heard his phone ring and only knew he was talking on the phone because he pulled it out and walked away. Now I understand about Teresa's blog a few weeks ago when she asked how Deaf felt about others using their phones at Deaf events. It wasn't that I needed him to interpret his conversation for me. Heavens! He wouldn't have been able to anyway. However, even among the hearing, it's simple courtesy to say "excuse me." Better yet, unless it's really important to receive calls, you should turn your phone off while talking to others, or explain WHY you need to take that call. Did he want to be there at the Deaf Chat?? I think not. I guess it was part of his class "assignment" to take notes about what I said because I saw him write down some things about me. YIKES!! He never even asked if that was OK! He left early. After forty minutes of patiently showing him signs and fingerspelling with him, he simply got up and left. Good riddance too!! The look of relief on his face when his ride showed up was priceless. I know he was thinking 'Thank GOD, the torture of talking to this deaf woman is over!" He didn't even say good-bye or thanks or nod in my direction. How RUDE!! I felt like a specimen. The others from his school didn't try to communicate in ASL at all. They only stared at me and the others in my school signing away. If I had had a choice I would have moved on to talk to someone else, but I had arrived late and all the other chairs were taken, so I was stuck in this area surrounded by people from the other school. Soon after my guy left, the rest of them left too, so only those from my school were left.
Then we all closed in and I had a much better time chatting with the students from my own school. They all signed much better, and seemed to feel more comfortable about my deafness. In fact it didn't matter at all. After that we just chatted about funny stuff and we had some good **laffs.** We all noticed how the students from the other school seemed to be way behind. I know nothing about that teacher at the other school.Sometimes I wonder why people take ASL if they feel so uncomfortable around deaf/HH people.
On the bright side-- a nice surprise and more praise for Starbucks. This Deaf Chat was held at a Starbucks. I had a horrible time finding it. For those of you who don't know--- I live in the Seattle area and there are probably two Starbucks on every block, plus a couple other drive thru latte stands and coffee shops in-between. We drink a lotta coffee here-- OK??? Our winters are D-A-R-K. Coffee helps to relieve Seasonal Affective Disorder. Look that one up. We get weird in the winter without our coffee. I'm getting off track. . . So I was driving around and pulled into the wrong Starbucks one block away from the one I was supposed to be at. Wouldn't you know the kid at the counter knew a little ASL? A high school kid. I've run into this before at Starbucks. They look for workers who know ASL. Starbucks is SO Deaf friendly. So this kid knew about the Deaf Chat at the other Starbucks and told me how to get there and even signed a little while he was speaking as best he could. Sweet!
Since I have to go to this Deaf chat, I plan to take a deaf friend next time if I can convince someone to go with me. (sigh) Or maybe I'll talk to my teacher and see if it's OK to go somewhere else and sign with other people who are more advanced than me, so I can learn more, cuz I was really super disappointed about last night. 
