Saturday, May 24, 2008

What I Learned From A Butterfly

"Hoping to catch your eye Circling around you, oh my Butterfly, butterfly, come into the light Oh, what a beautiful sight Flying so gracefully Into the sky, the butterfly Trying to catch a butterfly Fly, fly, fly, butterfly. . ." - Sharon Adamson

A few years ago I was inspired by a visit to our zoo where they had just opened their new butterfly garden. I wish I had a camera at the time. My son, then only 10, was wearing a bright red cap and a pretty little yellow butterfly landed right on his head, maybe thinking the red cap was a big red flower. It rested there for a few seconds then flittered away. The butterfly house was packed with colorful butterflies flying every which way.

Later I began to think about the metamorphosis process butterflies go through, and I couldn't help feeling it was similar to the transformation I had traveled toward deafness. For awhile I went through a self-imposed isolation while adjusting to the changes taking place within me. Then one day I realized I wanted to make the most of life as a late-deafened person. I was tired of the cocoon. I tentatively reached out, and as I opened up more and more, I discovered I was a changed person.


I had gone through a metamorphosis, just like the butterflies around me. I began to think of them as a symbol of my transformation.


I started my own butterfly garden. Little by little I began planting flowers to attract them. I stopped spraying my plants with poison that might kill their young, and I put out little tiny cups for water for them to drink from when it became too dry in the summer.


A butterfly garden isn't always pretty. It isn't filled with beautiful or rare hybrids that need a lot of attention. Butterflies prefer wildflowers and "weeds" that grow naturally in their regions. To attract butterflies one must be willing to overlook caterpillars eating leaves and to allow weeds where a mother butterfly might lay her larvae. I've learned to see weeds and caterpillars in a new light.
Because I often talk about my butterfly garden, people sometimes ask to see. They expect a show of colorful, fragrant flowers. My yard is not beautiful. It's natural. I can see the disappointment on their faces when they realize my entire weedy yard is butterfly compatible. They look at my jumble of blackberry vines, oregon grape and salal, then grimace. The "garden" is not in just one tiny section. After all, butterflies fly away. I want them to be safe everywhere.


There have been a few surprises along the way. For example, an increase in wildlife to my yard. You see, the wildflowers attract squirrels, deer and especially hummingbirds, as well as other birds--woodpeckers, stellers jays, chicadees, which attract raccoons because of the eggs laid, which attract coyote because of the abundance of small prey. . . We now have an entire family of raccoons living somewhere in our side yard. I've watched them collecting crows eggs high up in a tree, while the crows took turns dive-bombing them. It's entertaining to sit in my yard and watch the wild animal show--coyotes running across the driveway in pursuit of something, deer resting in the grass with their young. Yeah-- the grass would look better mowed, but deer prefer tall grass and also the blackberry brambles in my lower yard.


These past few years, as I've thrown myself into gardening for butterflies, I've developed a new passion for gardens and wildlife I never had before. This, in itself, has propelled me towards further acceptance of my deafness. Gardening replaced the piano I miss. Even in winter months I plan what I'm going to do to my yard come spring to attract more butterflies.


Then-- I learned something new. Butterflies in all their splendid color are deaf!! I now see them as God's special little angels. They're here to remind us there's beauty in deafness and in the NATURAL world around us.
If you've been wondering where I've been lately, you'll find me in the garden.


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen!! :D

Karen Mayes said...

That was a beautiful posting.

Do you have a greenhouse? That way you could continue gardening through the cold months...hmmm?

Anonymous said...

This is a fantastic metaphor and a wonderful post!

At first I thought you said your 10 year old son was wearing a red *cape*. I thought, "Oh, another superhero fan!" LOL (My son would have lived in his Power Rangers costume when he was younger, if I let him.)

~ Wendi

Abbie said...

This was such a splendid read. I love the synchronous message that was portrayed. I can relate to this because I love gardening too and I never have until these past couple years. The best part is you don't need to hear to admire the beauty... only when you forget to turn the hose off :)

Jennifer said...

kw, you know I love me some butterflies too. This was a beautiful post! My hubby bought me some "butterfly flowers" for Mother's Day...am anxious to see what happens :)
I, like you, associate very much with the metamorphosis phase...I've undergone such a huge transformation over the last few months and I don't even feel like the same person anymore. I am finally comfortable with who I am and love myself deaf or hearing. It's a very nice place to be :) *hugs*

Unknown said...

Dear Kim,
As you know, it's been a while since I've left a comment. Things have been really crazy and this is a very emotional period for me. I really should visit more often because every post you write profoundly touches me.
How strange that you should have written about butterflies. I would say, "You'll think I'm crazy, but..." but I know YOU won't think I'm crazy when I tell you what I'm about to tell you.
You know I was very close to my grandfather, because you commented on the post I wrote about my grandmother. Just after my grandfather passed away, the first summer we returned, a monarch butterfly would visit us while we were out at the pool. I was convinced it was my grandfather, because he always used to call Jordan, "The King."
Whenever I am sitting outside, sad and I ask for a sign, a butterfly appears out of nowhere and I know it's my Pop watching over me.
Last New Year's Eve, when my crisis began, I was sitting outside at about 11:30pm scared shitless that 2007 was ending and I swear to you, a butterfly shot out of nowhere and landed on my leg. (How many butterflies are there in the dead of winter?)
Then, on May 25th, the day after you wrote this post, and my grandfather's birthday, I was sitting at the cafe and flipped open my cellphone to call my friend Sonia, when out of the blue, a monarch flew through the air in front of me and then flew away.
I had told Sonia my butterfly stories and she knows what's going on with my husband. She sent me a message that said, "Anyone who believes that a butterfly is her Grandfather coming to speak to her, has a great soul and anyone who doesn't understand this soul is lost...now, I understand."

A week ago, I had a dream that I was finally flying, I landed in the ocean and then, started flying again. I finally landed on the ground and began walking until I came upon an isolated house. There were about ten butterflies flying around the door of this house. Suddenly, the door opened and a woman with red hair stepped outside.
I don't know, I think I'm all about metamorphisis now, and I am not afraid to be alone, because I have angels watching over me. I know that you will believe me when I say that.
Hugs and thank you for touching me once again with your beautiful writing. Jodi

Kim said...

Hi Karen-- No I don't have a greenhouse. Great idea!!

Wendi-- You've brought back memories. My son was a HUGE power rangers fan when he was little. (smile)

Hi Abbie-- Yeah, I don't know how to explain this but I appreciate color and nature more than I used to before I lost most my hearing. It's strange.

Kim said...

Hi Jennifer-- I knew you were the "butterfly woman" We've talked about this in the past, that we both felt a connection to butterflies. This picture up here used to be my Myspace icon. Our butterfly season in the northwest is short. I'm getting antsy to see some. . .

Kim said...

Jodi (hugs) This is so amazing! No I don't think you're at all crazy. I have been visited and I know many others who have been visited by relatives who passed to the other side. A friend recently sent this message from a medium. I only cut and paste a small part of it.

" . . .Be patient...Be still..

Pay attention to the small moments. They are often filled with messages from the departed that are more subtle than one would expect. In the beginning it may be more difficult for them because they are in the process of remembering what it means to be nonphysical. It is a more fluid environment and communication skills may be altered from what they previously knew.."

What you said about the butterflies visiting at just the right times reminded me of this message. They send subtle signs that loved ones often miss.

I'm so happy you've enjoyed my blog. Thanks!